Thursday, March 27, 2008

Correspondence

Good Day Mrs. Not Concerned

My name is the good Reverend Klench Michiques and I am coming to you from Nigeria, Mnumbuku Province. Our Church of the Holy Gnu wishes to participate in the givings to Mr. Not Concerned and family. Mr. Concerned is a most gracious friend to our Church. We have on many times accepted his hospitality. On this day now I wish to refund his hospitality in making a gift to him in US dollars. However, recently in past days I now know why I cannot reach him at his work emails. I am so sorry for his discomfort at the hands of the renegade Mr. Stokes causing his knees to be most broken from the Lewybill Sluggar. The members of the Church of the Holy Gnu wish to make penance upon Mr. Concerned in the amount of US $5000.00. However as you see we cannot reach him and wish to make surprise for him. Please, can you send me his contact information, social security numbers and direct deposit routing numbers to his chequing accounts.

Many Blessings upon you Mrs. Concerned
Reverend Klench Michiques


Dear Reverend Michiques,
Mr. Notconcerned is slowly healing at the Southeast Alabama Medical Center. Not only did Stokes break his kneecaps, but he also broke several fingers, making it hard to type. I know he appreciates your emails and the pictures you sent from the village. He wanted me to ask how the Lamisil is working for young Tutukana.

Can you help us out by sending a rabid baboon to the offices of Mr. Stokes, preferably with a “Krispy Kreme Donuts Inside” label attached. I am sure it would bring joy to his heart and lift his spirits.

Sincerely
Mrs. Notconcerned


Dear Mrs. Not Concerned
My heart is sad to hear of Mr. Concerneds hands. The Church of the Holy Gnu will commence special services with the sacrifice of kinukach. Most assuredly this will cause his great relief and allow him to send the information requested of Social Security numbers and bank routing numbers. We are most urgent to get this information as our church has now raised US $9000 in the helping of good health toward Mr. Concerneds.

Alas there is a baboon shortage in my village. I can send to you a how to make baboon stew that will surely lift his spirits and nourish his wounds. Have you baboons in your village for making of the stew?

Good wishes
Reverend Klench Michiques

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