Monday, May 19, 2008

Baddest of the Wiregrass - Round 1

Baddest of the Wiregrass: Round 1
Toyota Commercial Kids VS Do It Billy Girl

All of these kids can test your nerves. Do It Billy Girl is the cutest of the bunch but has the ability to become “Hey Howard, What ya doin’ up there?” King’s Appliance annoying in the future. Will the Toyota Commercial Kids play by the rules and tag out legally?

The Toyota Kids are being booed by the crowd probably due to this contest being 3 on 1. As Do It Billy Girl enters the ring, cuddling a cute Cabbage Patch Doll, the crowd lets out a collective “Aaawww”. She is cute.

Hoping to end this quickly, the Toyota Kids send in the biggest girl. As she approaches, Do It Billy Girl points out to the ref that the boy is standing on the ring ropes, an illegal position. As the ref is going to make the boy get down, Do It Billy Girl asks the older girl if she likes her doll. The older girl puts her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes saying something about being too old for dolls. With the ref distracted, Do It Billy Girl whacks the older girl up side the head with the obviously loaded Cabbage Patch Doll saying “Tell Hannah Montana hello”, the older girl is out cold and the crowd erupts. Do It Billy Girl tosses the doll out of the ring, it hits the floor with a loud “Clank”, as the ref comes back to the action she holds her hands out to show she is unarmed.

Toyota boy is next in the ring and he immediately tries his patented “Lower Daddy” arm move/punch. No one knows how lethal it is, but it will knock $1000 off the MSRP of any model Toyota. He misses, he misses again. Do It Billy Girl grabs the arm and twists it behind his back. He screams in pain, “Uncle, Uncle”, she ignores his pleas and pops the arm out of its socket. The crowd is going crazy, no one expected this much action in the first round.

The smallest of the Toyota girls seems a little apprehensive about getting in the ring. Do It Billy Girls drags her in and bends Toyota girl over her knee. What is she doing? Oh, she is spanking the little Toyota girl, saying, “I’m the cutest, I’m the cutest”, Toyota girl has had enough and she taps out.

Round 1 Winner – Do It Billy Girl

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