The Dothan Police S.W.A.T. was called into action today at the National Peanut Festival fairgrounds. Governor Robert Bentley's personal protection detail was overtaken by a hoard of elderly women from the New Brockton Baptist Baking Club. Governor Bentley had what doctors described as a mild pecan pie abrasion to his forehead, was treated at a local hospital and released.
Witnesses say the violence broke out when the Governor declared Cassie Phelps the Blue Ribbon winner of the Pecan Pie Contest. The New Brockton Baptist Baking Club, whose various members have won the Pecan Pie Contest each of the last seven years, took offense to Mrs. Phelps, who has declared no baking affiliations, winning the contest. After a heated criticism of recipes, Mrs. Phelps wiped her hand on one of The New Brockton Baptist Baking Club member's apron, which started a fight of hair pulling and pie throwning. Several members of The New Brockton Baptist Baking Club were arrested on assault charges.
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know those were show aprons and not actual, working aprons. Sometimes I wear my Montevallo Alum apron around the house when I have our girl cook or clean. It gives my girls a better sense of womanly duties. I will have my husband pay for that woman's apron but I will not apologize for my pie. I cooked that pie myself, our girl didn't even help." Mrs. Phelps said when questioned.
Tess Clark, of The New Brockton Baptist Baking Club, tried to explain why she took umbrage to second place. "Well that little, big city girl from Dothan should be disqualified. Her Pecan Pie had not properly congealed. It was down right runny. If nothing else, she should not be allowed back at The National Peanut Festival. And that good for nothing, doctor Governor, I don't think the man is even southern."
Governor Bently stated he thought Mrs. Phelps' pie had a uniqueness he had never seen. "I was able to break the top layer of pecans and swirl them around in the filling. It was very viscous and the pecans soaked up the juice, I was even able to sop the crust in the juice. Excuse me, I dribbled a little bit on my tie." When asked if he knew which contest he was judging, the Governor responded, "Well of course. I know what a pecan pie is. This was more like a soup but they didn't have a soup category."
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know those were show aprons and not actual, working aprons. Sometimes I wear my Montevallo Alum apron around the house when I have our girl cook or clean. It gives my girls a better sense of womanly duties. I will have my husband pay for that woman's apron but I will not apologize for my pie. I cooked that pie myself, our girl didn't even help." Mrs. Phelps said when questioned.
Tess Clark, of The New Brockton Baptist Baking Club, tried to explain why she took umbrage to second place. "Well that little, big city girl from Dothan should be disqualified. Her Pecan Pie had not properly congealed. It was down right runny. If nothing else, she should not be allowed back at The National Peanut Festival. And that good for nothing, doctor Governor, I don't think the man is even southern."
Governor Bently stated he thought Mrs. Phelps' pie had a uniqueness he had never seen. "I was able to break the top layer of pecans and swirl them around in the filling. It was very viscous and the pecans soaked up the juice, I was even able to sop the crust in the juice. Excuse me, I dribbled a little bit on my tie." When asked if he knew which contest he was judging, the Governor responded, "Well of course. I know what a pecan pie is. This was more like a soup but they didn't have a soup category."
as always...you never disappoint!! funny as heck. now i'm hungry for pecan pie.
ReplyDelete"...And that good for nothing, doctor Governor, I don't think the man is even southern." lol.
I second that....I want some pecan pie
ReplyDeleteI second that....I want some pecan pie
ReplyDelete